The F’s of Friendship (Fellow fans of alliteration, this one’s for you.)

F-f-f-friendship

Best friendships get all the glory; but, friendships actually exist along an ever-changing spectrum, a landscape - friendship is a range of relationships, all of which are important. Some are surface and fleeting. Some are pillars that stand the test of time and challenge. Some don’t last long but impact us significantly. Some stay with us but are a constant source of stress. There is an endless number of ever-changing possibilities along the spectrum, and no two of our situations will look alike.

Here we go …

I envision this spectrum of friendship as a funnel, laying on its side. Our friendship funnel starts on one end, with what we’ll call feathery friends. These may be beautiful, but they’re light and wispy, either because they’re new or because we haven’t invested much in them. Unless they’re weighed down a bit, with an infusion of attention and intention, they’re subject to the whim of a strong breeze. At the other end are our friendships of fortitude. These friendships have grit, patience, perseverance, and tenacity. These are our pillar-people. In between, we have our fluctuating friendships, which, on any given day, might be flourishing, fading, or fizzling. A feathery friendship might fizzle, if it’s neglected. A feathery friendship, if nurtured, though, can become a flourishing one! And, a flourishing friendship might just turn into a friendship of fortitude over time. All of our friendships are always in flux, some at glacial pace and some at race car speed. Even friendships that last a lifetime are constantly changing; it’s their flexible nature, accommodating growth and change, that allows them to last a lifetime.

For our friendship funnels to thrive, we have to feed them. We need to assume the posture of regularly welcoming people in. I’m simply talking about receptivity. If you’re overwhelmed or already have plenty of friends, I’m not asking you to pledge time or energy to starting new relationships in earnest. I’m simply saying that one never knows … to decide that you’re “closed” to new people is to put limitations on your own potential. To walk through life with a friendly demeanor, open to interaction with new people and the potential it might hold, is to live fully. Just as when we’re trying to grow professionally and are always open to the potential that new networking connections might bring, we should maintain the mindset that we’re regularly receptive to new personal connections.

With regular infusion of new folks and with attention and intention applied in particular places, we can direct friendship fluctuations in the directions that serve us best with each person, cultivating a fun and fulfilling friendship funnels.